138: The Magical Quantum Healy Machine (feat/Mallory DeMille)

Jan 26

Using a combination of Alexa, Siri, and your extensive search history, we've been able to scan your bio energetic field, and are sending personalized quantum rebalancing and immune-boosting frequencies your way as you listen. Can you feel it?! Can your pet feel it? Because, dear listener, there’s a program for them, too. In fact, there’s a program for everything and everyone because frequencies don’t discriminate—as long as you’re not into Big Pharma, that is. All you need is to invest in this little $1,000 machine—$4,000 if you want the “professional edition”—that clips onto your Lulu gear and injects quantum vibes straight into your soul.

That’s right, this week we’re talking about the Healy. Our correspondent, Mallory DeMille, has scanned the ethereal social media frequencies to find a greatest hits collection of influencers attempting to energetically guide you into their downline. Derek offers a bit of Healy history, which is rooted in the anti-EMF movement, while Matthew and I wonder: why is it that the same wellness crew that’s afraid of 5G and vaccine technology is so willing to wear this mysterious device?